<p><em><strong></strong></em><em><strong>Follow the stories of Zay and Jacob</strong></em></p><p>Do you have questions about raising transgender kids? Meet Zay, Jacob, and their wonderful parents, who love the boy and girl living inside their girl and boy. Then watch the fascinating TED Talk by Zay’s doctor, endocrinologist Norman P. Spack. </p><p>To see a video about Zay: watch <a href="http://www.cincinnati.com/longform/news/2015/02/21/transgender-cincinnati-childrenshospital-hormone-therapy-enquirer/23697339/">Raising Zay: A Family's Journey with a Transgender Child</a>. </p><p>To see a video about Jacob, watch <a href="http://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/transgender-kids/jacobs-journey-life-transgender-5-year-old-n345131">Jacob's Journey: Life as a Transgender 5 Year Old</a>. </p><p>For Dr. Spack’s Ted Talk, <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/norman_spack_how_i_help_transgender_teens_become_who_they_want_to_be?language=en#t-8465" target="_blank">click here</a> or view below.</p><iframe src="https://embed-ssl.ted.com/talks/norman_spack_how_i_help_transgender_teens_become_who_they_want_to_be.html" scrolling="no" webkitallowfullscreen="" mozallowfullscreen="" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" width="640"></iframe><hr><p><span style="font-size: 11px;">Photo credit Screenshot NBC News “Jacobs Journey: Life as a Transgender 5-Year-Old”</span></p>
<p><strong></strong><em><strong>Sorting through rights and challenges for <a href="https://esme.com/resources/c/lgbtq" target="_blank" class="wordlink">LGBTQ</a> families</strong></em></p><p>During the last decade, there has been increasing visibility of families headed by lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, and queer (LGBTQ) parents and Solo Moms. LGBTQ parents are as diverse as the general public and include all races, ethnicities, income levels, and <a href="https://esme.com/resources/c/education" target="_blank" class="wordlink">education</a> levels, as well as rural, suburban, and urban dwellers. Similarly, the issues that LGBTQ parents and single moms face are just as diverse and affect their parental rights. Just as noticeable are detractors of the LGBTQ community, especially those who focus on LGBTQ individuals’ rights to marry and become parents. However, several rights remain in question for LGBTQ parents and single moms, such as the right to form a family, adopt, have custody of their children, and become foster parents. Given these issues, it is important to understand how they affect LGBTQ parents and single parents.</p><p><strong>Right to form a family</strong></p><p>This right is directly tied to the former denial of LGBTQ individuals to legally marry. The institution of civil marriage functions as the entry to social rights, benefits, freedoms, and protections that are exclusive to this legal relationship. Until very recently, marriage was one right that was denied to the LGBTQ community, yet the recent Supreme Court decision supports LGBTQ marriage, the first step in forming a family.</p><p><strong>Second-parent <a href="https://esme.com/resources/c/adoption" target="_blank" class="wordlink">adoption</a></strong></p><p>When the right to second-parent adoption is denied, there is only one legal parent even though two people may equally parent the child and consider themselves as coparents. The status as a legal parent is automatically conveyed to the parent who has a biological connection to a child, such as a biological mom. Similarly, although some couples raise an adopted child together, only one of them may have officially become the adoptive parent because some agencies prohibit same-sex couples from adopting together but permit a solo parent to adopt. </p><p><strong>Child custody</strong></p><p>For LGBTQ parents who are legally ending their unions, there are some challenges because the law—both as it is written and as it is practiced—can be unfair to same-sex parents. In addition, these legal rules change frequently. Like other custody cases, compromise with an eye toward resolution should be the goal, so a custody mediator may be needed or even required. The issues of legal and physical custody and visitation are of greatest concern and can be the source of great distress. In several states, a parent’s sexual orientation cannot solely prevent a parent from receiving custody of or visitation with their child, or from receiving spousal and child support; however, LGBTQ parents in those states may be denied custody or visitation. This is because judges, when considering what’s best for the child, may be motivated by their own or community prejudices and may find reasons other than the lesbian or gay parent’s sexual orientation to deny custody or appropriate visitation.</p><p><strong>Becoming a foster parent</strong></p><p>The implied prejudices associated with child custody issues of LGBTQ parents and single moms also affect LGBTQ people who want to become foster parents. Many states have or have had bans on LGBTQ people becoming foster parents. Nearly a year ago, two congressional republicans introduced the Child Welfare Provider Inclusion Act because they wanted to shield adoption and foster-care providers from an “anti-faith bias.” The true goal of the act is to abolish state-level laws requiring child welfare services to let gay couples adopt children. Religious adoption agencies in some states have closed their doors rather than allowing LGBTQ people to adopt or foster children. The sponsors of the act contend that adoption agencies that take a courageous stand against gay adoption deserve federal protection. Some states have not embraced those beliefs and ideals. In March of 2015, Nebraska abandoned a contentious 20-year-old policy that barred gays and lesbians from becoming foster parents. Hopefully, this trend will continue, and other states will relax or nullify laws that keep LGBTQ individuals from becoming foster parents.</p><p>Rights for LGBTQ parents are evolving and ever-changing, so it’s necessary to understand the issues that affect their rights. Understanding their needs allows people and communities to respond with appropriate support, guidance, and information. Currently, some states support LGBTQ families while others are working to dismantle strides seen in other parts of the country. Nevertheless, the Supreme Court set the stage for progress, and it seems most of the land will comply. </p><p><br></p>
<p><strong><em>We’ve come a long way, baby—but we still have a long way to go</em></strong></p><p>No doubt about it, LGBT rights activists scored a huge win in June 2015: nationwide marriage equality. The Supreme Court of the United States confirmed that all loving couples have the constitutional right to marry. The ruling has built a solid legal foundation for LGBT-headed families across the country. </p><p>In addition to benefiting married LGBT parents, the Supreme Court decision will result in a stronger legal safety net for some LGBT solo parents. Now a widowed parent will receive social security benefits, avoid inheritance tax burdens, and be eligible for <a href="https://esme.com/resources/c/assisted-reproductive-technology" target="_blank" class="wordlink">bereavement</a> leave. Now LGBT parents who choose to <a href="https://esme.com/resources/c/divorce" target="_blank" class="wordlink">divorce</a> have clear guidelines for separating assets, establishing spousal support, and providing for their children.</p><p>Perhaps equally as important as the rights affirmed by the Court is the message this decision sends to the nation: LGBT people deserve “<a target="_blank" href="http://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/14pdf/14-556_3204.pdf">equal dignity in the eyes of the law.<span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">” </span></a> </p><p>While iconic buildings, city streets, television screens, and the Internet lit up with celebratory rainbows on June 26, leaders of the LGBT civil-rights movement cautioned that marriage is but one important step in the march toward full equality. </p><p>Here are five essential rights that LGBT parents are still waiting for:</p><ol><li><strong>Protection against employment discrimination. </strong>Across the country, 52% of LGBT people live in<a target="_blank" href="http://www.lgbtmap.org/equality-maps/non_discrimination_laws"> states where they can be fired based on their sexual orientation or gender expression</a>. Although some states protect their public employees from workplace discrimination, <a target="_blank" href="http://hrc-assets.s3-website-us-east-1.amazonaws.com//files/documents/HRC-SEI-2014-ReportRev5-1-Opt.pdf">only 20 states protect all LGBT people </a>from discrimination in public and private workplaces. This lack of protection against employment discrimination is particularly detrimental to single-income solo parents and their children.</li><li><strong>Protection against housing discrimination. </strong>Due in part to soaring housing costs, the financial realities of single-income households, and societal assumptions about solo-parent families, finding safe and affordable housing can be a challenge for solo parents. LGBT parents face the added burden of state-sanctioned housing discrimination. Across the nation, <a target="_blank" href="http://www.hrc.org/state_maps">28 states offer no protections against housing discrimination based on sexual orientation; 31 states offer no protections based on gender identity</a>. </li><li><strong>Protection against discrimination in public accommodations.</strong> Although laws cannot govern the opinions of individual citizens, the Civil Rights Act of 1964 did set legal standards for equality, prohibiting discrimination based on race, color, religion, or national origin in places of public accommodation, including private businesses such as restaurants, banks, hotels, and stores. In 1990, the Americans with Disabilities Act extended similar protections to people living with disabilities. However, LGBT people receive no federal protections against discrimination in public accommodations, and only 20 states offer comprehensive state-level protections, leaving LGBT parents and, by association, their children vulnerable to refusal of service in everyday locations such as grocery stores, ice cream shops, and movie theaters in 30 states across the nation.</li><li><strong>Safety in schools.</strong> Throughout the country, laws and regulations affecting LGBT students and children of LGBT parents vary. Although some states protect LGBT students and those associated with the LGBT community from bullying and discriminatory school policies, 24 states have no laws protecting LGBT students against bullying, and 32 states have no laws to protect LGBT students against discrimination. In fact, two states, South Dakota and Missouri, have enacted laws prohibiting schools from naming sexual orientation or gender identity in their school anti-bullying and anti-discrimination policies. Further, eight states have <a target="_blank" href="http://www.lgbtmap.org/equality-maps/safe_school_laws">“Don’t Say Gay” laws</a> on the books, restricting teachers and staff from talking about LGBT issues and people. National statistics paint a bleak picture of the LGBT student experience. According to the <a target="_blank" href="http://www.glsen.org/nscs">2013 National School Climate Survey</a>, 74.1% of LGBT students reported being verbally harassed at school, 55.5% reported experiencing discriminatory policies or practices, and 17.5% reported being prohibited from discussing or writing about LGBT topics for school assignments. Hostile school climates make a negative impact on the educational experiences of both LGBT students and children of LGBT parents.</li><li><strong>Custodial rights of LGBT parents.</strong> The Supreme Court marriage decision not only affirmed LGBT couples’ right to civil marriage but also opened up access to existing laws in many states that allow nonbiological parents in legal marriages to establish legal connections to their children. These undeniable legal bonds strengthen intact families, and they protect the custodial rights of LGBT parents facing divorce. Despite these newly available protections, some LGBT parents will continue to face legal challenges to their custodial rights. Transgender parents, parents who come out as gay while married to an opposite-sex spouse, and parents whose spouses have died sometimes find their custodial rights challenged by ex-spouses or surviving family members who, despite volumes of evidence to the contrary, question their fitness as parents based on their sexual orientation or gender identity. Where family law allows judges to consider sexual orientation or gender identity in child-custody disputes, LGBT parents and their children remain vulnerable to the whims of the court.</li></ol><p>Indisputably, the LGBT community has seen extraordinary progress over the past 15 years, but when it comes to achieving “equal dignity under the law,” we still have a long way to go.</p><hr><p><span style="font-size: 11px;">Image via Rena Schild/Shutterstock.com</span></p>
