<p><strong><em>Understanding the type of help your child needs in the classroom</em></strong></p><p>Accommodation and modification are often used interchangeably, but they’re completely different in meaning and approach in the classroom. Knowing the difference between the two makes it easier for you to choose one or the other, or even both, as an appropriate learning support for your child. An accommodation aims to address the manner in which a child learns academics in school. For instance, when a teacher accommodates during the lesson, the focus is on how a learner will gain an understanding of what’s being taught or demonstrated in the classroom. Unlike an accommodation, a modification involves altering what your child is taught or expected to learn. We’re talking about adjusting the lesson or curriculum so that your child understands the central topic or message of the content, which will be different from their peers. </p><p><strong>Who receives accommodations and modifications?</strong></p><p>Like every child, yours has a broad set of skills and specific talents that are meant to be honed by effective educators in school. Solo Moms need to be wary of the one-size-fits-all style in <a href="https://esme.com/resources/c/education" target="_blank" class="wordlink">education</a>. It never works. Honestly, it’s a highly unfair approach to teaching any content to a learner. Children with <a href="https://esme.com/resources/c/special-needs" target="_blank" class="wordlink">special needs</a> require specific methods for learning such as accommodation and modification in an approach to learning new concepts in the classroom. When this is the case, one way that school systems meet the variant needs of its learners is with an Individualized Educational Program (IEP). This program is developed through a meeting with the parent, child, special education team, and general education teachers. If your child has an IEP, certain accommodations and/or modifications are created so that nothing less than academic success is achieved in the learning environment. For more information visit, the Department of Education’s <a target="_blank" href="http://idea.ed.gov/">Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) page</a>.</p><p><strong>Accommodation and modification in the classroom</strong></p><p>Whether learning happens through a lecture, technology, or visual aid in the classroom, the idea behind accommodation is that your child’s needs are always being met with the <em>how</em> factor in mind. Specifically, a teacher will consider questions like these: How do I assist a child during the learning process? Or how will I model a new concept so that the learner can apply it in a real world setting? A teacher must also regularly check for understanding through observation or a test to know if the accommodation is working for your child. Some other examples of commonly used accommodations include providing clear directions, rewards for positive behavior, and extended time during tests. However, accommodations in the classroom aren’t limited only to instruction. A quiet and organized classroom, one that allows for movement when the need arises for your child, is also an accommodation routinely used in schools. </p><p>Modification works differently in that it focuses on modifying what’s taught in the classroom. Let’s say a child who’s a struggling reader is required to learn grade-level vocabulary. For a child who doesn’t read that level, this can be quite difficult. The child will probably struggle to comprehend the words in context. With a modification, the teacher will simply choose a book on an easier level and use vocabulary that’s similar in meaning in order to help the learner get it. For instance, a teacher might use the word “throw” to replace “launch.” Modification allows for shorter assignments, grades based on effort, and open-book tests.</p><p><strong>Advocate for your child’s needs</strong></p><p>The best way for Solo Moms to ensure that their child receives the proper accommodation or modification in the classroom is to stay in regular contact with the head of the special education department and the child’s teachers. Familiarize yourself with the <a target="_blank" href="http://www2.ed.gov/programs/specediep/index.html">process of an IEP</a>. The more you know, the better prepared you’ll be when the time comes for a review of your child’s individual needs. You can request advance notifications for benchmark and mandated state assessments from your child’s general education teacher. Be sure to request that all correspondence be sent in a manner that is convenient for you and provide your current contact information to the school. Set up a time to visit the school and sit in for a class session or volunteer to be an aide in the classroom. Monitor your child’s grades through progress reports or online access to teacher grade books. Laws and regulations under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Improvement Act (IDEA) protect the rights of those who receive special services. Under no circumstances can a teacher fail a learner who has an IEP. When you spot a poor grade, immediately inquire about it and hold school officials accountable for providing quality and fairness in educating your child. Trust me when I say, teachers need your support with accommodations and modifications. Your involvement is essential to gaining a positive educational experience for your child.<br></p><hr><p><span style="font-size: 11px;">Image via Shutterstock.com</span></p>
<p><strong><em>Optimize the experience for you and your internationally adopted child</em></strong></p><p>So the time has finally come! You have undoubtedly read a ton of books, attended enough trainings to fill a lifetime, grilled adoptive families, and asked your <a href="https://esme.com/resources/c/adoption" target="_blank" class="wordlink">adoption</a> counselor a million questions. And yet . . . somehow . . . you still feel as if you are embarking on a completely unknown adventure as you finally approach the day when your child will actually be living under your roof. That’s because, well, you are! And, as an adoptive <a href="https://esme.com/voices/perspectives/whats-a-solo-mom" target="_blank" class="wordlink">Solo Mom</a>, you might feel as if you have questions that even the most experienced parents and professionals cannot fully answer for you. </p><p>Undoubtedly, your most fervent questions revolve around how to help your newly adopted child integrate into your home. So here are five tips for creating an optimal experience for both you and your child.</p><ol><li>Find ways to deal with the language issue. You will hear people talk about how adaptable children are and how quickly they will learn English. But please put yourself in your child’s place, with new surroundings, new people, new food, new culture—and no way to communicate.<ol><li>Take an introductory class, preferably a “Russian for Travelers” type class that will provide you with the basics. No need for language theory here, just practical day-to-day needs.</li><li>Acquire flashcards, easily found on the internet for almost any language. These will be invaluable both for teaching the basics and for helping your child let you know about his needs and wants. If your child will be entering school, provide her teacher with appropriate flashcards as well to help with giving instructions.</li></ol></li><li>Expect strange questions and comments, maybe even some that will seem rude. “Are you his real mom?” “I didn’t know single people could adopt!” “I’ve heard that addictions are rampant in eastern Europe; was her mom a druggie?” “Do his brothers like him?” All in front of your children! You will develop your own responses to these usually well-intentioned questions; for now, something like, “How about if we have this conversation in private sometime?” should provide a clue to the asker. The main thing is to not take it personally or to act as if something is wrong. Your children need to know that all is well.</li><li>Take it slow and easy. Your family and friends will be so eager to welcome your child into the wider community, and you will no doubt want to show your appreciation for their support and kindness throughout the adoption journey. But your child knows nothing of these things and is likely going to be overwhelmed during the first several days, weeks, and even months in his new home. Plan a very slow entry, maybe just a few individuals coming over during the first few weeks, then a small gathering, and so on.</li><li>Accept, and ask for, support.<ol><li>Here’s a list of things you might find helpful during your first months home with your new child: meals, gift certificates to meal delivery services, grocery shopping and delivery, laundry services (either by a friend or a commercial wash-and-fold service), and house cleaning. Many of us find it hard to ask for help and even to accept help when someone offers it. Solo Moms, especially, can develop a mindset of being very independent. Get over it. Spend time now cultivating supportive relationships that will be indispensable over the long haul.</li><li>Find other adoptive parents who can be your friends, guides, and mentors. Find adoption support groups—churches, agencies, and meetup groups are your best bet here. Online support groups are also invaluable for being a steady source of advice and support.</li></ol></li></ol><strong>Know that the most important job that you have when your child first comes home is to help him or her feel as safe as you can.</strong> This is no easy task, given the life journey that has brought her to you. Learn everything you can about how to build attachment in a very frightened child. Also know that you will make mistakes and have regrets, as do all parents. Give yourself a break, and make sure that you extend compassion (the same compassion that led you to decide to adopt) to yourself as you travel down the road of single adoptive <a href="https://esme.com/resources/c/parenting" target="_blank" class="wordlink">parenting</a>. It will be quite a journey, and you are doing a magnificent job—always remember that!<hr><p><span style="font-size: 11px;">Image via Shutterstock.com</span></p>
<p><em><strong></strong></em><em><strong>Follow the stories of Zay and Jacob</strong></em></p><p>Do you have questions about raising transgender kids? Meet Zay, Jacob, and their wonderful parents, who love the boy and girl living inside their girl and boy. Then watch the fascinating TED Talk by Zay’s doctor, endocrinologist Norman P. Spack. </p><p>To see a video about Zay: watch <a href="http://www.cincinnati.com/longform/news/2015/02/21/transgender-cincinnati-childrenshospital-hormone-therapy-enquirer/23697339/">Raising Zay: A Family's Journey with a Transgender Child</a>. </p><p>To see a video about Jacob, watch <a href="http://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/transgender-kids/jacobs-journey-life-transgender-5-year-old-n345131">Jacob's Journey: Life as a Transgender 5 Year Old</a>. </p><p>For Dr. Spack’s Ted Talk, <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/norman_spack_how_i_help_transgender_teens_become_who_they_want_to_be?language=en#t-8465" target="_blank">click here</a> or view below.</p><iframe src="https://embed-ssl.ted.com/talks/norman_spack_how_i_help_transgender_teens_become_who_they_want_to_be.html" scrolling="no" webkitallowfullscreen="" mozallowfullscreen="" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" width="640"></iframe><hr><p><span style="font-size: 11px;">Photo credit Screenshot NBC News “Jacobs Journey: Life as a Transgender 5-Year-Old”</span></p>