<p><em><strong>Provide necessary care for yourself or your family for up to 12 weeks for qualifying events</strong></em></p><p><strong>Q: What is FMLA?</strong></p><p>A: FMLA refers to the Family and Medical Leave Act, which is a federal law guaranteeing certain employees up to 12 workweeks of unpaid leave each year with no threat of job loss. FMLA also requires employers covered by the law to maintain the health benefits for eligible workers just as if they were working. </p><p><strong>Q: Who must adhere to FMLA?</strong></p><p>A: FMLA protects only workers of employers reaching the minimum requirements. All public agencies must follow FMLA rules, including state, federal, and local employers, as well as schools. For private employers, FMLA applies to those employers who either employ 50 or more employees for at least 20 workweeks during either the current year or employed 50 or more employees for at least 20 workweeks during the previous year. </p><p><strong>Q: What situations qualify for FMLA leave?</strong></p><p>A: Covered employers must grant FMLA leave for one or more of the following situations:</p><ul> <li>The employee cannot work because of a serious medical condition.</li><li>The employee must care for an immediate family member that has a serious medical condition.</li><li>The birth and/or subsequent care of the employee’s child.</li><li>The placement and/or subsequent care of an adopted or foster-care child.</li><li>A “qualifying exigency” that arises from the fact that the employee’s spouse, child, or parent is on active duty or has been called to active duty for the National Guard or Reserve in support of a contingency operation.</li></ul><p><strong>Q: Do I get paid during FMLA leave?</strong> </p><p>A: No. FMLA doesn’t guarantee any sort of paid leave. An employee can elect to use paid leave that he or she has accrued. Employers can also require an employee to use paid leave as part of the FMLA leave as long as the employer provides the employee with the proper notification.</p><p><strong>Q: Can other types of leaves count toward my 12-week FMLA leave?</strong> </p><p>A: Yes. If the purpose of the leave meets the requirements for an FMLA leave and the employer provides proper notice in writing that the employer will consider the leave as part of the employee’s yearly FMLA allotment. Such a situation typically occurs when an employee takes leave based on workers’ compensation or maternity/paternity.</p><p><strong>Q: My employer wants proof I’m really sick. Do I have to provide medical records?</strong> </p><p>A: No. An employer can request that you provide some sort of medical certification of your serious medical condition, but you do not have to provide medical records to your employer.</p><p><strong>Q: Can I lose my job if I take FMLA leave? </strong></p><p>A: No, employers can’t interfere with the rights conferred under the FMLA or use an FMLA leave as a negative factor in any employment decisions such as promotions or terminations; but be aware there are a few exceptions. </p><p>Source: <a href="http://employment.findlaw.com/family-medical-leave/what-is-fmla-faq-on-federal-leave-law.html" target="_blank">FindLaw, “What is FMLA? FAQ on Federal Leave Law”</a></p><hr><p><span style="font-size: 12px;">Photo Credit: Shutterstock.com</span><br></p>
<p><strong></strong><em><strong>Is your inner child wreaking financial havoc?</strong></em></p><p>I know very few people who have an active, thriving relationship with their inner child. It’s as if the child we were becomes replaced by the adult we become without leaving a trace of our former self. Why are we so disconnected from our inner child? When people are asked to describe in detail their closest childhood friends, they smile and, without hesitation, launch into colorful descriptions of fond memories sharing lively stories of when they were kids. Yet when it comes to identifying a connection with one’s <em>own</em> inner child, people are perplexed by this and often find the idea of that inner child’s existence very challenging. The reason I mention this is because there can be a critical and painful disconnect between our “selves” and the child within. And it is that same child who may be wreaking havoc on our adult life.</p><p>How does this relate to a <a href="https://esme.com/voices/perspectives/whats-a-solo-mom" target="_blank" class="wordlink">Solo Mom</a>’s relationship with money? During childhood, we learn lessons about money from all types of experiences; some are healthy, others can be confusing or even detrimental. For example, the child who is given gifts as a substitute for quality time with a parent may, as an adult, spend money without limits as a means of comforting oneself against pain and disappointment, with little concern for the financial devastation it may cause. I had a client who thought nothing of spending $2,000 on a handbag and then proceeded to burst into tears when the credit-card bill arrived! That is a poignant example of one’s inner child wreaking havoc on her adult’s life. Another example is that many Solo Moms are concerned about credit-card debt, yet when they take a closer look at where their money is going, they realize they may be spending some of their hard-earned wages on things they don’t truly value. Upon closer inspection of their monthly statements, there are often charges that provide the inner child immediate relief or gratification but end up costing the adult much more in terms of increased financial stress when the bill comes in. </p><p>How are these buying decisions being influenced by our inner child?</p><p>Confusing messages about money are internalized at a young age. It’s much easier to suppress uncomfortable feelings or distort their meaning to make ourselves feel better. We use strategies to compensate for feelings of inadequacy or implement coping mechanisms to deal with harsh judgments from parents, relatives, and even the annoying kid who lived down the block. When we unconsciously absorb warped beliefs and behaviors around money, we carry these forward, creating patterns that continue throughout our adult lives.</p><p>On the opposite end of the spectrum from being fiscally irresponsible by overspending is the Solo Mom who earns a considerable income yet denies herself simple pleasures out of an irrational fear there won’t be enough. When these women trace their beliefs back to childhood, they often uncover shame around growing up with not enough to eat or dressing in hand-me-down clothes. Others share memories of having their allowance or part-time job money turned over to parents without any say in how it was spent. These individuals internalize a sense of powerlessness and deprivation only to re-create this pattern through punishing spending habits as adults. Denying oneself a new car when the old one is falling apart, making excuses not to join friends for dinner to forego treating yourself to a night out, or passing on a gym membership may all be signs of deprivation that need recalibrating.</p><p>All these personal discoveries are “gold” in that they lead straight to one’s inner child who, though hidden, is still alive inside each of us, dictating the actions we take. Often these choices do not accurately reflect a person’s current financial situation. The real challenge is to uncover these patterns as the first step toward changing one’s paradigm around money.</p><p>Decisions relating to money can be very fraught with intense emotion, making it difficult to act rationally. Once the connection between inner child and adult is established, a healthy compromise can be struck between the two, thereby permitting both “childlike” needs and “adult” reasoning to create a balance. Ignoring one’s inner child can come at a huge cost. It is important to have someone you trust help work out these feelings so you can move ahead with your life in a healthier relationship with your money.</p><p><br></p><p><em>Is your own inner child problematic? Get support from other Solo-Mom <a href="https://esme.com/auth/signup">Sisters</a>!</em></p><p><em><br></em></p><hr><p><br></p>
<p><strong></strong><em><strong>Fighting coworker resentment and finding better solutions for sick days</strong></em></p><p>As Solo Moms, we’ve all faced that middle of the night or early morning question: How sick is my kid? As we take temps and assess little faces, we’re also weighing what we would miss at work if we stayed home. This decision typically comes with a sense of dread. </p><p>Some Solo Moms may have days left in the “sick bank”—but almost half of us do not. Only four out of ten workers in the United States get paid sick time, and there are currently no federal legal requirements to provide paid sick leave. Betsey Stevenson of the White House Council of Economic Advisers states that 39 percent of private-sector workers do not have any sick leave at all. Not a single day. </p><p>Until that changes, Solo Moms must balance the demands of their jobs with the inevitability of waking up to a sick child.</p><p><strong>Real-life resentment </strong></p><p>It’s not just the money we stand to lose: it’s also the good graces of our coworkers. If you’ve ever wondered if your childless or partnered coworkers resent you taking time off to care for sick kids, the answer is probably.</p><p>While writing this article, I mentioned this topic to three close friends who’ve never raised kids. I can summarize their sentiments like this: <em>It’s tiresome that parents get so many perks, and we can’t say anything without being viewed as family-unfriendly and kind of heartless.</em></p><p>Several years ago, the Families and Work Institute in New York City conducted a survey asking, “How do you feel about parents taking time off or leaving work early to take care of their kids?” The not-so-surprising results: about four in ten workers resented their fellow employees for receiving time off to attend to children’s needs. In addition, the participants mentioned having to cover the work that the parent leaves behind. </p><p>Covering for an absent parent is often expected in the workplace, but it’s rarely compensated. Many childless workers also feel their needs, such as taking care of aging parents, are not recognized in the workforce as readily as the needs of parents. </p><p><strong>The roots of the problem—and the toll it takes</strong></p><p>Women have been part of the American workforce for decades now. Why isn’t there a better solution? A recent study done at the Hastings College of Law points to the underlying organization of the American workforce as a huge part of the problem: “The workplace is perfectly designed for the workforce of 1960, a workforce of breadwinners married to homemakers.” </p><p>This issue takes a toll beyond simple workplace logistics: moms’ health. Many <a href="https://esme.com/voices/perspectives/whats-a-solo-mom" target="_blank" class="wordlink">Solo Mom</a>’s go to work when they are under the weather to save sick days for their children. With time off in limited supply and patience with coworkers wearing thin, moms often drag themselves to work when they’re sick.</p><p>Maureen Hopkins, Solo Mom of two boys, says, “I never stay home unless I am contagious. Migraines, exhaustion, cramps, allergies—none of that is enough to keep me home. My day care does not accept any kid who is not 100% well. Sometimes I am sick longer because I can’t get any down time, but I have no choice but to save my days for the boys.”</p><p><strong>Better solutions</strong></p><p>Sickness is unavoidable and workplace rules and norms are slow to change. So Solo Moms need to have a plan if they want master this balancing act. Before the fever strikes, cultivate a list of emergency caregivers. Here’s where to start looking. </p><ul><li>Make an agreement with another Solo Mom who works from home or has more job flexibility. Offer payment or trade help that you’re able to offer. </li></ul><ul><li>Community centers and churches often have lists of college students or moms who will do occasional sitting, even for a child who is not feeling well. </li></ul><ul><li>Use an on-call nanny service. These services have prescreened nannies, some of whom have specialized skills, such as experience in the medical field that will enable them to watch an ill child.</li></ul><p>With any of these providers, it’s a good idea to have them visit and play with your child a few times before sickness strikes so the unfamiliarity isn’t off-putting when they show up and your child is sick.<strong></strong></p><p><strong>When you’re out of options</strong></p><p>If you absolutely have to stay home and care for your sick child, call work and tell them briefly why you have to stay home and how you plan to cover the work. If you can keep up with email or take calls from home, let your boss know. </p><p>The best advice? Know that being a Solo Mom has its challenges and accept them. When you can, volunteer to stay late, work during lunch, or bring work home over the weekend. You will be seen as a team player and an undeniable asset even if you have less flexibility when your child is sick.</p><hr><p><span style="font-size: 11px;">Image via Shutterstock.com</span></p>
