<p><strong></strong><em><strong>Fighting coworker resentment and finding better solutions for sick days</strong></em></p><p>As Solo Moms, we’ve all faced that middle of the night or early morning question: How sick is my kid? As we take temps and assess little faces, we’re also weighing what we would miss at work if we stayed home. This decision typically comes with a sense of dread. </p><p>Some Solo Moms may have days left in the “sick bank”—but almost half of us do not. Only four out of ten workers in the United States get paid sick time, and there are currently no federal legal requirements to provide paid sick leave. Betsey Stevenson of the White House Council of Economic Advisers states that 39 percent of private-sector workers do not have any sick leave at all. Not a single day. </p><p>Until that changes, Solo Moms must balance the demands of their jobs with the inevitability of waking up to a sick child.</p><p><strong>Real-life resentment </strong></p><p>It’s not just the money we stand to lose: it’s also the good graces of our coworkers. If you’ve ever wondered if your childless or partnered coworkers resent you taking time off to care for sick kids, the answer is probably.</p><p>While writing this article, I mentioned this topic to three close friends who’ve never raised kids. I can summarize their sentiments like this: <em>It’s tiresome that parents get so many perks, and we can’t say anything without being viewed as family-unfriendly and kind of heartless.</em></p><p>Several years ago, the Families and Work Institute in New York City conducted a survey asking, “How do you feel about parents taking time off or leaving work early to take care of their kids?” The not-so-surprising results: about four in ten workers resented their fellow employees for receiving time off to attend to children’s needs. In addition, the participants mentioned having to cover the work that the parent leaves behind. </p><p>Covering for an absent parent is often expected in the workplace, but it’s rarely compensated. Many childless workers also feel their needs, such as taking care of aging parents, are not recognized in the workforce as readily as the needs of parents. </p><p><strong>The roots of the problem—and the toll it takes</strong></p><p>Women have been part of the American workforce for decades now. Why isn’t there a better solution? A recent study done at the Hastings College of Law points to the underlying organization of the American workforce as a huge part of the problem: “The workplace is perfectly designed for the workforce of 1960, a workforce of breadwinners married to homemakers.” </p><p>This issue takes a toll beyond simple workplace logistics: moms’ health. Many <a href="https://esme.com/voices/perspectives/whats-a-solo-mom" target="_blank" class="wordlink">Solo Mom</a>’s go to work when they are under the weather to save sick days for their children. With time off in limited supply and patience with coworkers wearing thin, moms often drag themselves to work when they’re sick.</p><p>Maureen Hopkins, Solo Mom of two boys, says, “I never stay home unless I am contagious. Migraines, exhaustion, cramps, allergies—none of that is enough to keep me home. My day care does not accept any kid who is not 100% well. Sometimes I am sick longer because I can’t get any down time, but I have no choice but to save my days for the boys.”</p><p><strong>Better solutions</strong></p><p>Sickness is unavoidable and workplace rules and norms are slow to change. So Solo Moms need to have a plan if they want master this balancing act. Before the fever strikes, cultivate a list of emergency caregivers. Here’s where to start looking. </p><ul><li>Make an agreement with another Solo Mom who works from home or has more job flexibility. Offer payment or trade help that you’re able to offer. </li></ul><ul><li>Community centers and churches often have lists of college students or moms who will do occasional sitting, even for a child who is not feeling well. </li></ul><ul><li>Use an on-call nanny service. These services have prescreened nannies, some of whom have specialized skills, such as experience in the medical field that will enable them to watch an ill child.</li></ul><p>With any of these providers, it’s a good idea to have them visit and play with your child a few times before sickness strikes so the unfamiliarity isn’t off-putting when they show up and your child is sick.<strong></strong></p><p><strong>When you’re out of options</strong></p><p>If you absolutely have to stay home and care for your sick child, call work and tell them briefly why you have to stay home and how you plan to cover the work. If you can keep up with email or take calls from home, let your boss know. </p><p>The best advice? Know that being a Solo Mom has its challenges and accept them. When you can, volunteer to stay late, work during lunch, or bring work home over the weekend. You will be seen as a team player and an undeniable asset even if you have less flexibility when your child is sick.</p><hr><p><span style="font-size: 11px;">Image via Shutterstock.com</span></p>
<p><strong></strong><em><strong>Being “color brave” instead of “color blind”</strong></em></p><p>Mellody Hobson challenges the commonly accepted definition of being “color blind.” Hobson is president of Ariel Investments, chairman of the board of DreamWorks Animation SKG, speaker, educator, and passionate advocate for the issues she believes in. In her powerful TED talk in May 2014, she asserts that being color blind does not mean lack of racial prejudice; instead, being color blind means ignoring the issue of race and pretending that racial prejudice and disparities do not exist. Ignoring issues and prejudices doesn’t fix anything, whether it’s about race or Solo Moms’ responsibilities. Hobson calls for people to be “color brave”—to face issues and diversity head on. And that benefits all of us.</p><p><iframe src="https://embed-ssl.ted.com/talks/mellody_hobson_color_blind_or_color_brave.html" scrolling="no" webkitallowfullscreen="" mozallowfullscreen="" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" width="640"></iframe></p><p>In the corporate world, evidence of racial disparity is indisputable. Hobson cites these facts: “White men make up just 30% of the U.S. population, but they hold 70% of all corporate board seats. Of the Fortune 250, there are only seven CEOs that are minorities, and of the thousands of publicly traded companies today, thousands, only two are chaired by black women, and you’re looking at one of them.”</p><p><strong>Diversity benefits the workplace</strong></p><p>Early attempts to address these disparities in corporations were made through the establishment of Affirmative Action in the early 1960s. Since then, organizations have struggled to shift their focus on diversity from a compliance-quota standpoint to strategically leveraging the benefits gained from a diverse workforce. Hobson emphasizes that at Ariel Investments, a diverse workforce is considered a competitive advantage. </p><p>But is workforce diversity truly a competitive advantage? Does a diverse workforce produce better performance?</p><p>Research done at Michigan State University shows that complex problems are better solved by a diverse team than a more homogeneous one. Research from McKinsey & Company found that companies in the top quartile for gender or racial and ethnic diversity are more likely to have financial returns above their national industry medians. The firm’s conclusion: diversity is a competitive differentiator that shifts market share toward more diverse companies over time. A study conducted at the University of Illinois at Chicago, using a national sample of for-profit business organizations, found that workforce diversity is associated with increased sales revenue, more customers, greater market share, and greater relative profits. </p><p>This is good news for Solo Moms and anyone else who doesn’t fit the male white-collar stereotypes. Despite the fact that only 5% of CEOs of Fortune 500 companies are women, there is growing recognition that gender diversity is associated with better business performance. Research by Catalyst concludes that companies with higher female representation in top management outperform those that don’t, delivering 34% higher shareholder returns. This recognition forces corporations to challenge the stereotypes and preconceptions of women as leaders. It also forces them to implement policies and programs that will attract and retain female leadership. More family-friendly policies such as flexible work schedules, on-site day care, generous maternity leave, and other practices that value the work-life balance are valued by women, especially Solo Moms.</p><p><strong>Open your eyes and be brave</strong></p><p>In research at the Harvard Business School that focused specifically on racial diversity, measurable performance benefits were found, especially when work groups chose to learn from members’ different experiences rather than ignore or suppress them. This research not only supports Hobson’s assertion that racial diversity is a competitive advantage in business but also her assertion that we need to become “color brave” rather than “color blind.” Her definition of color brave is “to be willing to have proactive conversations about race with honesty and understanding and courage, not because it’s the right thing to do but because it’s the smart thing to do, because our businesses and our products and our science, our research, all of that will be better with greater diversity.”</p><p>Hobson calls for all of us to go out and proactively establish relationships with people who are not like us. Most of us tend to live, work, worship, and shop in places containing people just like us. Interacting with people who don’t think like us can greatly enrich our lives and provide us with a wider perspective. Those interactions require active intention and a willingness to reach out and perhaps go outside our comfort zone.</p><p>Most large organizations today have diversity and inclusion training programs. However, we must move beyond these canned programs and truly embrace diversity and inclusion as key competitive factors in today’s business environment. Building a diverse workforce must become a strategic priority. Businesses must be willing to have those awkward conversations about race, gender, and other differences. We must all become “color brave.”</p><hr><p><span style="font-size: 11px;">Image via Ted.com</span><span style="font-size: 11px;"></span><br></p>