Dear ESME Sisters,
My son, the love of my life, was born at 2:32 a.m. He weighed a mere two pounds, eight ounces.
I was on the other side of the country when he made his grand entrance 11 weeks ahead of schedule, so I frantically packed a bag and booked a plane ticket. I was terrified, not only for this tiny baby but also for the woman who had given birth to him by emergency cesarean section.
When I got to the hospital, more than 1,300 miles away from home, I went to see her first. She floated in and out of consciousness but told me to go see this most beautiful baby boy. And beautiful he was.
It would be almost three months before my son and I would fly home together. Another five months later, I stood before a judge with tears in my eyes, as she finalized my son’s adoption.
Before I tell you what adoption is, let me tell you what it isn’t: Adoption is not a means to an end. It is not a replacement for the biological child you couldn’t or didn’t want to have. It’s not your chance to do something good for humanity.
Adoption is building a family. It’s doing your very best to respect the feelings of all parties involved, including the child and his or her birth family. And it was the only way I wanted to have a family.
I look at my son in awe every day. He’s now a busy preschooler who loves animals, movies, and anything with wheels or wings. I wanted to be his mother more than anything, and I am beyond grateful for every hug, every snuggle, and every “I love you, Mommy—soooooooo much!”
Adoption can be complicated and messy, an emotional roller coaster with the highest of highs and heartbreaking lows. Whether you are a regular ESME reader or a new Sister looking for guidance and friendship, or whether you are a birth mother or an adoptee yourself, you are welcome here.
Adoption isn’t a onetime event. It’s a lifetime of education, understanding, and love. My story is one of millions—and I want to hear all of yours.
Make yourself at home here at ESME.com. Learn from one another. Join a Tribe and share your advice in our Sister Chat. Read articles relevant to adoption, and find support in our Adoption Resources section.
I look forward to hearing from you!