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A glossary of Tinder terms

Do not, I repeat, do not make a date to “Netflix and chill” with any dude you meet online—unless you want to get laid. And, yes, I was stupid enough to make that mistake; when I started my Tinder journey, I had yet to master the new and obscure language that goes along with it. Hell, I was grateful to even be able to work my phone.

But thanks to extensive research and years of studies in the field, I have become proficient in the modern language of Tinder. I may have forgotten college French, but I can happily boast fluency in online swipe-speak.

Therefore, for those still in Tindergarten, the following is a list of relevant terms and expressions for online dating so you can be in the loop, be in the know, and know when to swipe on.


1. numerical sequence representing the number of letters in each word of “I love you”

2. term generally used by dudes when a chick jumps the gun and tells him she loves him after, like, the third date (“Chick went all 143 on me.”)


1. Tindernym for “ass poopin’”—as in super fun

2. term used by dudes to indicate “super fun” when they are too stupid to know that anything to do with “ass” or “pooping” does not turn us on


1. Tindernym for “ass to mouth” (Sadly, it’s a thing.)

2. Tindernym telling you to swipe left!


1. abbreviation for “awkward”

2. women’s description of how men dance


1. slang for “babe” or “baby”

2. slang used by dudes who are way too young for you


Tindernym for “big, beautiful black woman”


Tindernym for “big, beautiful woman”


dude who texts you once in a while but never makes plans

bipolar disorder

1. also known as “bipolar affective disorder” and “manic-depressive illness”

2. mental disorder characterized by periods of elevated mood and periods of depression

3. condition suffered by 100% of ex-wives and ex-girlfriends of men on Tinder—and according to 100% of the men on Tinder, the reason for the breakup


Tindernym for “boys’ night out” (Precious.)

body by Mattel

dude’s description of a chick whose body is more plastic than real

bye, Felicia

1. dismissive expression employed by men and women

2. when someone says he or she is leaving and nobody gives a shit, that person’s name becomes “Felicia,” people roll their eyes, and then go back to whatever; her real name doesn’t matter—because nobody gives a shit; for example:

“I’m outta here!”

“Bye, Felicia.”

“Who’s Felicia?”

“Who cares?”

calling card

1. super-important first profile picture also referred to as “primary photo”

2. most important decision you will ever make in your life


1. male “model” who seduces you with bullshit texts and photos and then surprises you with footage of him masturbating, thinking this will compel you to pay for his “sexual services”; generally for his own perv thrill but often successful in solicitation of money (Note: If you succumb to this, I will hunt you down and make you eat fried liver and onions. You are beautiful, and you don’t need a camboy.)

2. service no single mom should use because her kids might walk in


1. Tindernym for “come fuck me”

2. male request for woman’s appearance in text photos; generally, a specific desire for stiletto heels by assholes who think this request will turn us on, without regard to the fact that they hurt our feet and make us not want to fuck you

Him: “Send me a picture of you in CFM pumps.”

You: “Fuck off!”


dude who swipes right on every chick so he can rack up as many Tinder girlfriends as possible then brag to his dude friends about his numbers


dude who connects with women on Tinder with no intention of going out with them because he is a freak and unable to have face-to-face interactions with women


dude who had a girlfriend but Tinders to rack up as many Tinder girlfriends as possible, because he is a douche bag

D&D free

1. drug- and disease-free

2. What’s the world coming to?

duck face

1. only way chicks know how to smile anymore

2. Ladies, enough of the lip filler; you are role models for your daughters


1. acronym used in publications of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator to refer to one of 16 personality types

2. acronym used by dudes to test if you are intelligent by knowing what “EMFP” means (Please note, I had to Google EMFP.)

420 friendly

person who likes to smoke pot


Tindernym for “face to face”


pornish-sounding infinitive verb referring to the act of posing with duck face while incorporating finger on or around the lip rim

fish gape

1. selfie pose with mouth slightly open, eyes staring at camera, looking like a fish

2. ridiculous selfie pose used by women who think it will make a dude hot for them; it doesn’t—ergo male-invented term “fish gape”


1. when you accidentally swipe right on someone you totally do not want, and you match

2. when you find out from girlfriend that she’s already Tinder-dated dude you are going out with tonight, and he likes golden showers


1. Tindernym for “friends with benefits”

2. when a dude wants to sleep with you on his terms, no strings attached, because you are “friends,” and you do it because you think you are cool and hip and evolved and can “just have sex” without getting hurt

3. something chicks agree to when they are totally lying to themselves

get some strange

1. when dude in a relationship longer than three months engages in sexual intercourse with someone other than his girlfriend

2. practice used by shitbags and my ex

ghosting (aka a slow fade)

1. when a dude does not want to see you anymore (or wants to keep you as a backup plan) and gradually stops responding to your texts

2. strategy employed by cowards


1. Tindernym for “great minds think alike”

2. exclamation when man and woman text the same thing at the same time; generally causes sense of jubilation, especially in females who also experience a conviction that it is “meant to be”

golden showers

1. when a dude pees on you

2. dude with serious intimacy issues

hand congress

dude’s hand is called into session when Tinder doesn’t work


1. Tindernym for “high earner, not rich yet”

2. Tindernym for dude who needs to get over himself

hot dog legs

1. female equivalent of male “feet photo”

2. when chick posts point-of-view photo of her thighs, legs bent at knees, with stunning background (such as a beach, pool, deck of a mountain cabin), ergo giving impression she is “chill,” “easygoing,” and “outdoorsy”; chick believes legs look sexy from said perspective because cellulite is hidden—but men think legs look like hot dogs (which they do; google it) and are getting a good laugh

into clean living

code for sober


1. Tindernym for “lifetime romance”

2. term used by dudes in profile blurb when they want to get laid because they think chicks are hopeless romantics, naive, and all-out stupid (Little do they know.)


dude who does not swipe right or interact with Tinder chicks in any way, shape, or form, but Tinders solely to look at women, most likely yanking while doing so


Tindernym for “married but available”; run, don’t walk!

mossy knolls

1. small rounded hill or mound, overgrown with or abounding in moss

2. chick’s hairy bush covering her mons pubis


1. person suffering from “narcissistic personality disorder,” wherein person is excessively preoccupied with personal adequacy, power, prestige, and vanity, and mentally unable to see the destructive damage he or she is causing others

2. 100% of ex-husbands and ex-boyfriends of women on Tinder

Netflix and chill

code for sex

no drama

1. catchphrase used by dudes in profile blurbs indicating they seek women who will not cause drama in their fabulous, cool, chill lives—like their “bipolar” exes—because, you know, us gals love drama

2. catchphrase indicating dude is a total douche

opening gambit

opening line to initiate contact (e.g., “Hey,” “Wazzup,” “Morning, beautiful,” or any series of upbeat, cutesy emoticons)


1. Tindernym for “post-traumatic dick-pic disorder”

2. form of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) caused by receiving unexpected, unwanted photo of man’s penis via cellular device; trauma generally lasting one hour to one day depending on availability of friends for sharing and texting

Note: Condition exacerbated by penis and scrotum that have been shaved


1. word-smush of “pelvic bone” and “pussy”

2. area of woman’s nether regions that becomes sore after too much dry humping

Generally occurs when single mom leaves offspring with sitter and Tinder date does not have actual abode in which to perform actual humpage (i.e., he is living with roommates or in his car), ergo couple is forced to roll around on urine-stained grass in public park or on sand at beach

Also occurs when Tinder date is married and believes dry humping doesn’t count as cheating (It does.)

pussy gotta go home!

when dude wants to rid himself of chick who has overstayed her welcome or is displaying stalker-like behavior

put your clam on lockdown

act of putting your vajayjay in a time-out because you have been screwing dudes indiscriminately—creating low self-esteem—or spreading STDs


Tindernym for “resting bitch face” (i.e., Kristen Stewart, Rose Byrne, Rose McGowan, and Kanye West; not intended as an insult by P. Charlotte Lindsay)


chick who obsessively follows Tinder dude via Tinder’s “last active” feature, as well as Facebook and Instagram feeds

thirst trap

photo posted by female clearly intended to cause stiffy in male, but comment implies ignorance of seductive powers (e.g., chick posts picture wearing translucent negligee with caption, “Don’t you just love my new PJs?”)

tiger photo

1. phenomenon wherein dude gets in close proximity to a tiger—yes, tiger—in order to take a photo with said tiger so that he can post the photo on Tinder; dude does this because, as always, he thinks it will get him laid

2. stupid way for male to compensate for small penis because he thinks photo of him cozying up to unpredictable man-eating pussy will get him a little pussy


any common acronym used on Tinder that generally becomes part of the American vernacular


1. Tindernyms for “talk to you later,” “talk to you tomorrow,” and “ta-ta for now,” respectively

2. Tindernyms used by dude when trying to be cute, get away from you, or he’s not into you


outdated acronym for “you only live once,” generally used by dudes stuck in the wrong decade or 13-year-old girls pretending to be dudes

P. Charlotte Lindsay is a middle-aged Solo Mom. She shares her newfound expertise as a user of a dating app that can help you meet guys, get laid, and maybe even find love. She is a real person, though her name has been changed to protect the innocent, namely her children and parents. You can follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Please feel free to contact us with any comments or questions.

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