Honestly? I Just Want to Have (Great) Sex


Honestly? I Just Want to Have (Great) Sex

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Tips for Solo Moms who aren’t looking for serious relationships

Dating and relationships can be tricky for Solo Moms. There isn’t much time for dating in between soccer practices and packing school lunches, and it’s hard to find the energy to devote to a new relationship.

Many Solo Moms decide to stay single for months or even years at a time to focus on our kids, but that doesn’t mean we stop being sexual. What’s a Solo Mom to do when, let’s face it, what we really want is amazing sex?

Dive into dating apps

Dating apps such as Tinder and OkCupid have a bad rap for being hookup central. But when you’re a Solo Mom looking for sex without commitment, they can be exactly what you need. Be honest about what you’re looking for, and you’ll be meeting people as fast as you can say “Swipe right.”

If you’re tired of the more traditional dating sites, why not give one created by women for women a try? Bumble is the woman-centric answer to Tinder, and it’s entirely woman-led. Women always initiate the interactions, so there won’t be anymore creepy messages in your inbox.

Search those personal ads

If online personals seem weird, throw aside your concerns and enter 2016. There are tons of options for connecting with potential hookups online, and you’ll skip all of that exhausting bar-room conversation.

Good sites to try are PlentyOfFish, AdultFriendFinder, and FetLife or ALT.com (for those kinksters out there!). Most of these sites have way more men than women, so if you’re a woman looking for a man, you’ll be getting busy right away!

Get your girls together

If online dating isn’t right for you, don’t worry. It’s not your only option. Clubbing might seem like an ancient relic of your kid-free past, but it’s still a great way to meet potential sex partners. Get your girlfriends together and enjoy a night out, and keep an eye out for your next great hookup. Of course, it’s always important to stay safe, but there’s no reason why you can’t have great sex, too!

Before you head out on the town, ask around for bar and club recommendations from your friends. Sometimes the best venues for women in their 30s and 40s aren’t the same as the ones for women in their 20s, so you want to make sure you’re looking in all the right places.

Think patriotic

Military bases might not immediately come to mind when you think about hot sex, but many of the single women I interviewed swear they are treasure troves for hot and heavy sex. Make sure your hotties in uniform are single (you definitely don’t need any drama!) and then dive right in.

If you’re ready to find yourself a soldier, look for the nearest bar. There are almost always bars near military bases where soldiers congregate, and they can be a great place to hang out when you’re looking for star-spangled fun.

Make new friends

Friends with benefits are perfect for Solo Moms who aren’t looking for a relationship but don’t want to have casual sex, either.

Don’t be afraid to turn casual encounters into a long-term friends-with-benefits situation or even to explore new relationships with other solo parents. Other solo parents understand the challenges of having sex as a Solo Mom, and they probably won’t be in any hurry to move past great sex, either.

Sex yourself up

OK, so maybe solo sex isn’t quite what you’re looking for, but there’s no reason to neglect yourself while you’re looking for a sex partner. There are plenty of great sex toys that can turn a solo night at home into exactly the mind-blowing orgasms you’re craving.

If there aren’t any great sex shops in your area, you can order yourself up a great night in online. Babeland is a woman-focused sex shop with plenty of options to keep you busy. Don’t forget to get inspired by one of these amazing porn sites for women.


Jody Allard is a writer and mother living in Seattle. Her work has been featured in the Washington Post, Time, and Good Housekeeping, and on Vice, among others. When she isn’t writing, she can be found binge-watching HGTV and embarrassing her teenagers.

Please feel free to contact us with any comments or questions.


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