Is Bumble the New Tinder?


Is Bumble the New Tinder?

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Our resident dating expert claims Bumble is more of the same

In December 2014, Tinder cofounder Whitney Wolf and a couple of her ex-Tinder colleagues launched Bumble, a location-based cell-phone dating app that claims to put the woman in charge. As of February 2016, Bumble had only 13 employees: 12 women and one man . . . and more than seven million users!

At first glance, Bumble essentially is Tinder. On Tinder, you swipe left if it’s a no, right if it’s a yes, and if there are mutual likes, bouncing, happy circles announce, “It’s a match!” But on Bumble, the circles are yellow, and they announce “Boom!” if it’s a match.

Aside from that, the primary difference between the two apps is that on Bumble, you, the woman, as in the one with the vagina, have to text first. Then your potential date can return and let the text exchange begin, ultimately graduating to phone conversations, then dating, then sex, an engagement, and ultimately marriage.

The added Bumble “challenge” is that you, the woman, have only 24 hours to make contact before your potential paramour fades from your phone. This poses a problem for us single moms who are lucky if we remember to shower in 24 hours. I have lost many a Prince Charming to Father Time. (Note: You do have the option of purchasing more time, but for me, no potential date is worth more than I’d pay for a cup of coffee.)

The Bumble app has its heart in the right place. Clearly it’s a company run by women thinking of every angle. The bells and whistles are aimed at inspiring men to put their best foot forward, using their preeminent photos and a high-quality, thoughtful blurb—ergo, attracting us bees to their honey.

And in the beginning, it did. Bumble was quality versus quantity. Where Tinder offerings were plentiful, Bumble dudes were more in line with my own man standards. Consequently, my Bumble offerings would often run out. (Let’s face it, there ain’t a whole lot of dudes who meet the standards of a Solo Mom.) I’d end up with the dreaded, “Looks like you are out of people.” My heart would sink. I’d feel rejected for a few days. Then a new crop of men would pop up. Yay!

Nevertheless, as a lifelong “Bumble bee,” and since joining at its inception, I’ve noticed that with Bumble’s increase in popularity, so goes the increase in man offerings . . . and so goes down the quality of men.

Many of the men I have seen (and sadly, dated) from Tinder, Match, and other sites (for research!) are now on Bumble—most not even bothering to change or edit their profile and photos. And what’s truly baffling is that none of them have gotten older! The ones who were 45 on Tinder five years ago are still 45 on Bumble today! Apparently, Bumble is also the fountain of youth.

So although Bumble launched with a solid gimmick, some fun bells and whistles, and a higher caliber of men, today’s Tinder/Bumble experience is essentially the same.

Let’s compare the general Tinder versus Bumble scenario:

You match on Tinder. The following text exchange occurs:

You: “Hey!”

Him: No response.

You match on Bumble. The following text exchange occurs:

You: “Hey!”

Him: No response.

There you have it! In either case, you aren’t getting married.

The above scenario is the product of an inherent impulse men have to rack up as many matches as possible with no intention of actually dating, thus allowing them to brag to their dude friends. To combat this form of “ghosting,” Bumble added a feature wherein if a man is messaged after matching with a woman and doesn’t respond within 24 hours, “He gone!”

But men are so smart, their brains so advanced, that some have outsmarted this system, resulting in the following, very common Tinder versus Bumble scenario:

You match on Tinder. The following text exchange occurs:

You: “Hey!”

Him: “Hi.”

You: “How’s your day so far?”

Him: No response.

You match on Bumble. The following text exchange occurs:

You: “Hey!”

Him: “Hi”

You: “How’s your day so far?”

Him: No response.

There you have it! In either case, you aren’t getting married, and he can still brag to his dude friends about his number of Bumble matches.

So although this feature has its heart in the right place, it’s hard to exorcise the genetic caveman ego of collecting as many potential mates as possible.

Also, as on Tinder, the tactic of zero information has become popular on Bumble. Originally, Bumble men would put time and energy into their profiles and blurbs—after all, this was Bumble, not Tinder.

Nowadays, you often are just one picture and zero information. If you are at all interested in Mystery Man, you must reach out to him as per Bumble rules, ergo making you feel desperate that you, a single mom, are sending a text to some random dude you know nothing about and can’t tell what he looks like.

And if you happen to match with said dude, and his language and writing skills are at the champion level of ambiguity—he’s a gold medalist in clever banter and witty repartee, and king of not offering up any information—you may have to go out with him in order to find out if he, in fact, has a job and a place to live. With my most recent (and probably last) Bumble date, the answer to both of those questions was no.

Delete.

I realized Bumble was Tinder all over again. [Sigh]

So I ask myself, If Bumble has turned into the new Tinder—into the same time-suck game wherein men give no information, provide obscure answers to my questions, and post photos with chicks or banners with the sort of booze they like to drink; and when I reach out as per Bumble’s rules and actually get a response, then attempt to exchange conversation, I am constantly met with sexual innuendo; and if I am so bored with it because I had the exact same experience on Tinder for three years—then what’s the point?

On Bumble, I have to do more work. I have to make the first move and wait. On Tinder, if he’s interested, he can reach out to me.

I like that.

I’m sticking with Tinder.

Maybe I am just an old-fashioned girl at heart.

Swipe on!


P. Charlotte Lindsay is a middle-aged Solo Mom. She shares her newfound expertise as a user of a dating app that can help you meet guys, get laid, and maybe even find love. She is a real person, though her name has been changed to protect the innocent, namely her children and parents. You can follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Please feel free to contact us with any comments or questions.


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