Big Yellow Bus

Big Yellow Bus

An ESME Sister Showcase Poetry submission

How can I tell her?

Each day I’ve driven her to school,

blonde hair scrunched in pigtails

pink lunch pail by her side

buckled safe in my blue Toyota,

and picked her up at 12:45.

Hasn’t she dealt with enough loss,

since her father added a girlfriend

and moved out,

without my adding this?

But if the job comes through—

and I’m praying that it will—

I can no longer be there at the curb

after kindergarten to bring her home.

Guilt gnaws at my insides for

complicating my little girl’s life

even further at this confusing time.

But what are my choices,

now that he’s made his?

“Honey,” I begin, avoiding her eyes

as I search for words of comfort.

“You may have to take the

bus after school.”

But my words lack the cheerful tone

I’d hoped for, even in my own ears.

I hold my breath, bracing myself

for her sure reaction.

“Oh, Mama,” she says, her voice trembling.

“I’ve always dreamed of riding the bus.”

I’m a mom, a grandmother, a writer, and a poet. I’ve loved poetry ever since my dad sat me down and helped me write my first poem. He then signed me up for high school journalism where I became the editor of the school newspaper. Later I attended Brigham Young University on a journalism scholarship. My writing ambitions have sprung back into life. I’m an active in the High Desert Chapter of The California Writer’s Club, was a mentor for honor high school students working on the Dorothy C. Blakely Memoir Project, and have written an award-winning memoir, From Mormon to Mermaid. I find ideas for poetry popping up all around me and love breathing life into them. With several poems already published—my fun is just beginning.

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