Beauty from the Inside Out
Spiritual practitioner Erin Haskell wants you to live your truth
“New Thought Minister” Erin Fall Haskell is one of the country’s leading spiritual practitioners and a graduate of the Single Mom’s Club. Her son, Coburn, is now 21.
Aside from her numerous professional titles, Haskell’s primary goal is to help people understand there is a “power for good in the universe that is within us.” With her website, speaking engagements, podcasts, and upcoming book, Haskell aims to shift people’s mentality to a loving place.
Plus, her “Body, Mind, Spirit Detox” is great for Solo Moms!
Born in Santa Barbara, California, and raised in the hills of a pseudo hippie commune—with Jane Fonda’s ranch down the street and neighbors gardening naked—she exudes that youthful California vibe.
But Haskell’s spiritual turning point came with the birth of her stillborn son. Holding him, she realized that while his body was there, he wasn’t. “One can conceptually understand we are not these bodies, but I got it on an entirely different level.” This epiphany led her on a worldwide quest to learn various spiritual processes. Meanwhile, she gave birth to another son, got her real-estate license, and became a self-made millionaire, entrepreneur, and philanthropist.
Having come full circle in her life, she now shares her wisdom with the world.
Q: You look way too young to have a 21-year-old!
A: I was 22 when I had my second son. I got pregnant a month to the day after I had my stillborn son. I was young, totally codependent, and thought that if I got married my life would be fixed. So many of us graduate high school thinking, I have to figure out my life’s equation right now or I’m a loser.
The work I do I call “living your truth.” Talk about not living your truth! I was walking down the aisle thinking, Don’t do this!
Q: When we’re young, we create a fairy tale of how our life will be. Fast-forward, and we’re thinking, This is not at all how I thought I’d end up.
A: I was raised by a mother who didn’t have an abundance mentality, was a bit negative, so I knew nothing. After I lost my child, I found myself in nursing school with a baby and someone I didn’t want to be married to. I’d be away from my son eight hours a day, pumping breast milk between classes thinking, What am I doing? I wanted to be with him. So I dropped out and got my real-estate license.
My ex and I divorced when Coburn was two but maintained a good relationship. In fact, it was the best time in my life. I tell my friends, “Only have a baby with someone you want to coparent with.”
Q: When at that low point, it’s hard to believe things can turn around.
A: If you hand your life over and are of service in what you want to see in the world, you find joy. There’s a whole other level of faith knowing 100% that the universe has your back. There is no longer any fear because you know it’s all love.
Q: At times, it can be difficult for Solo Moms to have faith.
A: It can sometimes be a victim story. What does it mean to be a single mom? True spiritual work is an identity shift—from being the individual person with all your problems to being someone who is one with everything. You can be whatever you want to be. It’s all about your thinking.
Having a great relationship with my ex, enjoying that time in my life was my attitude. Two people can look at the same crime scene and see two different things. You can look at your divorce as a victim or look at a relative experience of being married and miserable.
When we have a relationship between our higher self and ourselves, when we don’t base happiness on what’s external, we become unstoppable. The moment we label something positive or negative, we instantly feel that emotion.
Everything comes from within and moves out. It took me a long time to get this. You may have to reprogram your entire way of thinking, but it’s never too late. That’s why we call it “New Thought.” There’s always potential for change.
Q: What led you on this journey?
A: My stillborn was the impetus, but it really was being one of those women who appears to have it all together on the outside but on the inside is dying. I knew if I kept reaching for the self-help books, attending the seminars, etc., I would find answers.
It took me years of searching and study, years of meditation before the veil was lifted. The moment I held my stillborn child, I realized we are spiritual beings. But I didn’t go through true revelation until about 10 years ago.
Q: What happened?
A: We have layers of consciousness: Imagine you are sitting here. Above you is the sun, your higher self, all knowing and giving. Down here you experience yourself as divided, as being individual. Between you and the sun, there are sometimes clouds separating you from the sun, your higher self. When you begin to meditate, you begin to get rid of those clouds. You let go of limiting beliefs. You empty the bowl of your consciousness, and all the universal truths start streaming in. It’s called an enlightenment experience. Everything changes.
Q: What about Solo Moms without resources?
A: Money isn’t an issue. You can’t afford not to meditate. Take 10 minutes in the morning and evening. Create a sacred space for yourself. Light a candle and begin to just get into this space. Try not to move, even if it is uncomfortable, because it can be at first. Then begin to quiet the mind. There is no right or wrong way to meditate.
If you want to start meditating or have a spiritual practice, you need to quiet your world: simplify, declutter, turn off the phone, say no to things. If you and I have a relationship, but I do all the talking, it’s not a relationship. We must talk to ourselves about our wants and desires—but we also must listen.
I also think community is important—even if it’s online, a spiritual center, or just one person. You need to bring positive people into your life. We are all one mind, and if you hang out with people who are drama, then you become drama. It’s better to be isolated than around negative people.
We want our lives to be extraordinary, and to do this we have to get out of our comfort zone. Imagine where you will end up in 20 years if you don’t change what you are doing. Like giving up smoking: it’s tough the first couple of weeks, but there is a bigger picture at stake.
Q: What is your “Body, Mind, Spirit Detox?”
A: We first become conscious about what we put into our bodies: what you put in your mouth has everything to do with your mentality. We educate people on how to cleanse the body, from sauna work to diet modification.
Then we become conscious of toxic thinking: from the victim mentality to justifications to limited beliefs.
Then the spirit: we address how to meditate, how to create your mission statement, how to create your own spiritual practice.
We even take it into our home lives: from cleaning closets to simplifying e-mails.
It’s a whole life makeover because it all connects.
Q: Did being raised by a Solo Mom affect your choices in life?
A: Growing up, I had no understanding of life, no spirituality. We didn’t have money. My father remarried and was not around. I never had a role model of a relationship that worked; therefore, I’m single—that’s what is normal.
There are a lot of things I love about my mom, but she partied a lot. It taught me I didn’t want that chaos and dysfunction. It was a blessing because if I hadn’t seen it, I probably would have become an addict myself. My sister grew up with codependency issues and married an alcoholic. But she did her work and is happily remarried.
The takeaway is no matter if it’s a difficult childhood, a bad divorce, a single mom situation, or whatever . . . it comes down to your outlook. If you got divorced, the blessing is you aren’t still with the jerk. Without your divorce, you would not have learned the lessons you did. And if you didn’t learn the lessons—that’s tragic.
Life begins after divorce because you are over the delusions of the fairy tale.
In the positive movement, we don’t make pie out of a pile of shit. But we realize we are spiritual beings, in a spiritual universe, governed by cause and effect. I can look at my life and see 100% why I am exactly where I am, knowing that I created all of it—not just my consciousness, but the collective and karmic consciousness of our culture. I have freedom of choice to be negative or create something new.
Q: Favorite Solo Mom tip?
A: Pick your battles!
I see moms trying to control everything: “Don’t do this! Don’t do that!” So the kids resist everything. But if given space, when you finally say, “Don’t do this,” they listen because it’s something new.
If you want a child to eat healthy, don’t force them. Feed them healthy food, but take it away before they are done. Then they want more. It’s a psychological play as a mother. Positive affirmations and making scarcity of things you want them to have.
Q: As a Solo Mom, what makes you the most proud?
A: That I matured into a woman I’m able to respect, someone I really want to be.
Kathleen Laccinole, ESME’s Dating Resource Guide, has penned numerous films and parenting books but is best known for producing the highly lauded Greta, age 18, and William, age 14.
Please feel free to contact us with any comments or questions.