Choosing Your Baby’s Name Solo

Choosing Your Baby’s Name Solo

The benefits of having absolute control

Picking a name for your baby can be one of the most fun parts of pregnancy or one of the most stressful, depending on your circumstance. For those moms who are flying solo, though, there are far fewer stressors, because there are fewer cooks in the kitchen. You get to be both king and queen of your own domain, and this offers plenty of benefits—that your coupled friends will probably envy you for. Enjoy every last one of these juicy perks.

1. You get your first choice.

The name you end up with will be a name you love, through and through. You won’t be lukewarm or conflicted about it because there won’t be any compromising or negotiating or settling involved. While some expectant moms will be throwing back counteroffers—like “That can be the middle name,” or “You can name the second child,” or “What if it ended with an i instead of a y?”—you can get your first choice on all of it.

2. You dont have to deal with in-laws’ input.

When you’re naming a child with a partner, you have to take into account not only your partner’s opinions and ideas, but also those of their family. This might include cultural or religious traditions, family rituals, or just personal preferences (and some in-laws have a lot of them!). It’s the sort of issue that can be very divisive and trigger long-term resentment (the mother-in-law who just can’t get over not having the baby named after her). But not for you!

3. Your list can change whenever you feel like it.

You don’t need anyone’s approval to add a whole bunch of names to the list or cut ones that you suddenly decide you can’t stand. If, six months later, you feel like putting a discarded name right back on the top of the list, you won’t get any pushback from anyone.

4. You dont have to consider dumb names.

If there’s another parent involved in the naming process, there is bound to be at least a few names that are just awful, that you wouldn’t consider in a hundred years. Coupled expectant moms need to exercise tact about these names. They have to nod thoughtfully and pretend they’re considering it—all the while, they’re thinking, “That’s the dumbest name in human history. I wouldn’t name my child that abomination for a million dollars.” You never have to waste any time consider names that you hate.

5. You can honor whoever and whatever you want with your baby’s name.

If you have a beloved grandmother or uncle or Greek god that you feel really passionately about, you can honor that person when you name your child, and you don’t need anyone’s OK to do so. Whether you want to adhere to a tradition that’s been handed down by your family, culture of origin or religion, or start a new tradition that’s all your own, you have complete control.

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Nicole C. Kear, is the author of Now I See You: A Memoir, recently published by St. Martin’s Press. Kear, who lives in New York City, is also an editor, speaker, and mother of three.

Please feel free to contact us with any comments or questions.

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